On My Mind

Going in circles at the Crossroads

There is this place in your life that resembles a crossroads. A spot where all of a sudden you are standing in one spot and have roads going in all different directions surrounding you. Generally you have no idea how on earth you got there. Rarely you can remember the road you were on in the first place. Some of the roads have signs. Some of the roads you can see a preview off in the distance. Most of them are either covered in fog, go over mountains, cross rickety bridges, lead to tunnels, have immediate walls to climb over, or seem to drop off into the unknown.

Some people arrive at this spot more than once in their lives. Some people only get there during the “mid-life crisis”. Others may never get there at all. (I wouldn’t call them lucky just yet.)

This crossroads is where I am right now. I am fairly certain I have been here before, although I can’t remember exactly. Maybe I have been here for a really long time and haven’t actually made a decision on what direction to go in.

Have you ever thought you made a decision and then later realize that you didn’t really make it after all? Perhaps you think you should be further along a particular path and all of a sudden notice that you haven’t really even moved.

I feel like I have taken half a step down each path and am actually just moving in circles. It is making me dizzy at this point.

I keep telling myself that the majority of the roads are better than standing there and not going anywhere. It is probably just the fear of picking a road that would be worse than standing still.

But is that even possible?

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