Letters

A letter to my ex…

Dear past love…

And I would like the record to reflect that I was in love with you.  Any comment you thought was a joke when I talked about us getting married was not.  I could see it.  Some days I could reach out and touch it because it was that real in my mind.  My heart shattered into pieces when it was over.

I write to say that I apologize.  I am apologizing because I realize that I didn’t love you as hard as I could.  I didn’t give you everything I had.  You never really did have all of me.

The fact of the matter was that I never felt comfortable enough to risk it.  In the back of my mind I always felt like you were going to leave.  I always knew that your actions told me things that your words didn’t.  I held back not wanting to put everything out there.  In hindsight I wonder if I had would it have made a difference in the end or would the end have been ten times worse.

I also write to say thank you.  Had I not gone through this, I don’t think I would have realized how much I still held back.  I don’t think I would know now that I need to put it all out there and then let you show me that you deserve for me to continue to trust you with all of me.

Thank you for allowing me to be a much better woman for the next guy.

 

a whole lot wiser,

turtleberry

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